Gauri
Bhattacharjee, my grand mother was my hero. She was healthy, still going about doing her
daily chores when I saw her two months back.
At the age of 92, her self-discipline was uncompromising and very
inspiring.
She was
a strict vegetarian, cooked her own meals and spent the afternoon reading
newspapers, books and magazines. Her life
was governed by a strong sense of moral values, but she embraced modernity with
joy and respect.
She once
told me, “If you don’t learn to live with time, you suffer the most”. She appreciated technology: she was fascinated
to see my Kindle e-book reader and called it a great device and was also curious
to know from my aunt what Facebook is all about.
For
me, she was a testimony of history. As a
child and teenager, I used to spend a lot of time with her whenever I got back
home for vacations from my boarding school. I literally grew up listening to a
lot of stories from her childhood, notable accounts of India’s great freedom
struggle, and the looming horrors of the Second World War over Calcutta.
From
her I learnt about the tales of Indian mythologies of Ramayana and Mahabharata,
and also about the great scholarly saints and reformers of India like Mahatma Gandhi,
Iswar Chandra Vidyasagar, Swami Vivekananda and Raja Ram Mohan Roy. The oral lessons she provided made me take
strong interest in history and world affairs later in life.
She
was born in an educated family in 1922. Her father was a headmaster and the
director of education in erstwhile princely state of Rewa (now in Madhya Pradesh in Central
India). She had a comfortable
upbringing. In those days women didn’t
go to school, my great grand father educated her at home in Bengali.
Her
marital life wasn’t full of bliss. She lost her two sons during their youth and
her husband died battling cancer. She, however, didn’t allow her grief to weaken her but rather took charge of her affairs
more resolutely. She once told me, “my
father always taught me to pray to God to give enough strength to cope with any
challenge that life might throw at you.”
As
per Hinduism’s rigid caste system, she was a Brahmin: a class of people considered learned,
priest worthy and even superior. As per
her religious beliefs she renounced colourful attire and chose to clad herself
in white saree after her husband’s death in 1981.
Despite
her education she wasn’t an absolute non – believer in the caste system. She
vehemently opposed when my mother decided to marry my father- it was a mixed marriage
in every sense, something not very common in the society she was accustomed to,
but later, she not only accepted their marriage but also lived with my parents for
the rest of her life.
With
time she refuted everything that was not reasonable about religion or society in
general, and became extremely liberal and secular in her outlook. My non-
religious attitude didn’t bother her; when I decided to practice Nichiren’s
Buddhism, she strongly encouraged me and advised me stick to it. “Have faith in
something”, she advised me.
Once,
jokingly when I asked her if it was a problem if I fell in love with a girl
from some other religion, she remarked,
“is religion written on the skin of a person?”
She
was non- political and was angry at the state of affairs in India. She mourned that the dream of India as
envisaged by the freedom fighters have been squashed by people’s greed.
The
concept of “motherland” was supreme to
her. She was very patriotic but equally
well read about the cultures of other countries. Despite our family’s strong
connection with Britain, she never wanted to visit the country, but cherished my academic achievements in that country.
She
didn’t want to die ailing. She didn’t want others to suffer – that was her
biggest concern. Even during her last
days she despised my aunt for crying.
She said it was time to let her
go.
She
died hours after I took the flight to Delhi from Assam after seeing her for the
last time. She was in pain the previous night and it felt as if she waiting to
see me.
Personally
for me, it’s an end of an era. It’s also time to look forward and take charge
of our own lives and world in the very spirit she lived her life.
She
taught us to remain determined , never to be defeated in the face of
challenges, to respect others, to be always honest and very tolerant –
universal values that we need to make the world a happier and better place.
May
her soul rest in peace.
